How I got full custody
Like every self-respecting divorce litigation, also mine was enrichened by child custody battle.
The exact details might be personal for me and my children, so I will eventually disclose it in a future article or youtube video.
Image by Freepik
Suffice to say that, by being a considerate father, and a reasonable husband and divorce litigant, I got full custody of my children.
I’m proud of it, but I’d like to point out that this might not be the right solution for everybody. Some fathers have a challenging work schedule, lack of extended family support, and/or children of a very demanding age. In this case, loving father could try to obtain 50-50 or 40-60 custody. Keep in mind, custody arrangement is not for the benefit of the parents, but in the best interest of the children. The children’s best interest is to have both parents in their life.
Although I hoped to win full custody, that wasn’t what I asked the court for. I asked for 50-50 and for the children to stay in town, to keep them in the same school and social environment. Probably that helped my case. Who knows.
How the children do after a divorce
But the point I want to make today is not about child custody, but about the effect of the divorce on my children. And it has a happy ending.
My children were very disappointed about the divorce. Not surprised, but disappointed.
After the divorce was finalized, they were also very angry. It’s an adjustment.
We had very bad incidents. Children acting out and a single father who didn’t know what to do every time.
It took time, but with patience, a balance of discipline and compassion from my end, by setting time for honest talks, and the right professional help (therapy, school guidance office, etc.), the anger finally went away. After about a little longer than 1 year, which includes some pandemic time, now the children are happy and they have a good and healthy circle of friends. They understand that, having only one parent taking care of them, life might be more frugal and modest, at times. If you’re considering divorce, children could go through tough days for a limited time. But they will come stronger and less spoiled out of it. I can’t promise the same if they stay with parents in a toxic environment.
